Aug 25, 2012

Love or Arranged Marriage – A game of two


A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day. - Andre Maurois


Gudda-Gudiya ki shaadi (Marriage of two dolls-A game):

When we used to be kids, we play with different toys and as we grow the choice of our interest to play with toys randomly get changed and it’s quite natural. I still remember the time when I used to play “ghar-ghar” (kids family game) with my little boy and girl friends. I was having a sweet doll with whom I loved to play, get her dressed, liked to comb her hair and loved to be with her all the time. Earlier was the time whenever I used to go in Mela (fair) with my daddy I always bought kitchen or doctor set only to play ghar-ghar. I also played the game of “gudda-gudiya ki shaadi” (marriage of the pair of dolls) in my childhood.
A child is so innocent; they do not know the fact of partnership and an importance of the term marriage. They just play marriage-marriage and by the end of evening, the game got over when their moms called them back home. How easy the game was in our childhood and how puny my mind is to think about marriage, I anticipated now when I, myself standing on the edge of getting married.

Change of trend:

When my parents got married, they were not much known to each other before they tied up. May be, “Love” was not as frequent word of the dictionary in their single being as it is most common word of today. Earlier there were only option to arranged yourself with someone you do not know before your marriage which patently called as arranged marriage but after the love story of Heer-Ranjha, Romeo-Juliet and Laila-Majnu, the history itself created new trend is to love and to be loved by someone before your family decides to tie you with one rope of marriage. Trend might be changing but I still admire a couple who is happily married even after 34 years of being togetherness, my parents. Does it matter marriage is arranged or love?

When the two see
into the eyes,
no pain, no cries,
the only feel love
of heaven divine!

The call of Destiny:
Love or arranged is like two faces of coin, either you meet someone accidently or you get an option to choose someone you could share the second phase of life is nothing but the call of destiny. Three pillars are required to identify your destiny; Observing eyes to see the opportunity in front, emotional heart that accepts the other end with bit of time and promising hand to care each other, rest anyone is capable 
enough to change the destiny. 
(Being single I am also waiting for my destiny to be observed)

You will surely meet the one
you are destined for,
but when,
that time is unsure…..
The destiny is fixed,
for you and I….

                                                      A challenge:
“You are made for each other” is the common tag line which is been heard number of times when you see newly wed couple (I have seen my brother who had face the same). Who does see then it is love or arranged marriage? People only see the tuning between the two in future. The challenge is to prove the same tag line that yes the couple is mean to be together for next seven lives (The seven vows we take at the time of circular rounds in Indian marriages is to be together for seven lives and that need to be prove after sharing lives together). Marriage is a challenging game which runs the time counter in winning or loosing hearts and it does not matter it is love or arranged.

The vow has to take
my life is for you
   and you will be mine…

Tune your FM (Frequency of marriage):
Everything is just seems different after marriage no matter it is love or arranged. Everyday of marriage life uncovers the new surprises because you start analyzing your partner in different aspects. Either it is be arranged or chosen you have to do same compromises and adjustments with equal efforts to maintain the balance in relationship. You have to tune your marriage life like a Radio, if your tuning is set to that level of frequency, no matter what channel is set, you will always enjoy the play of different songs but anyhow if frequency is not matched, you have to tune until you find the required FM channel. You know how harsh is the sound feels when FM crashes of
 unmatched frequency similarly it hurts when
 relationship stands on the half closed doors.

Chemistry of love:
Chemistry is known to be the equations of elements. If we mix few different elements of life like anger, laughter, fun, pain, joy it will create nothing but LOVE.               
                                         (Anger+Laughter+Fun+Pain+joy……..=LOVE)
Love is anyhow required to balance married life. In arranged marriage love happens after the two meets and in love the two already know the pros and cons before they tied up. The only thing is required to love each other and family is the great bonding and chemistry which leads to a happy married life with mix of all elements of life. 

Life is to love,
to care and to hold
hands together,
Love selflessly,
                                          to coin          
   bonding so pure………

Love or arranged marriage is a topic anyone can debate whole day but let me cut this debate short that marriage is just a ceremony but living life as a husband and a wife is the actual experience. There are breakdowns with arranged and even love marriages, only depends how much effort they are willing to invest in their relationship. No marriage is guaranteed to be successful weather it is arranged or chosen; mutual understanding, letting things go, trust, respect and forgiving is all that matters. 

Stay tuned to each other like radio, keep matching frequency whenever required and enjoy the music. --- Emotestar


--EMoteStarJasmeet

20 comments:

  1. Sweet post, Jasmeet. And especially loved the FM bit - finetuning is perhaps the most important skill in a marriage! All the best.

    http://lafemmenirvana.blogspot.in/2012/08/love-and-marriage-chicken-and-egg.html

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    1. Thanks a lot Nirvana :)
      wish you the same

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  2. hmm...nice post.
    It depends on which option you have.If you have Love marriage option then go for it :-)
    And if you don't..then but obvious, you have to go for arranged one.
    And after that, its totally depends on you and your partner,how you guys manage the things to make a lovable life... :-)

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  3. must say .... one of your best ... lovely post ... and hats off...

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    1. :) this really made me smile..thanks a lot Malay

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  4. Dear Jasmeet,
    As one who has been married for nearly 11 years, I truly believe in the sacredness and sanctity of marriage and commitment. Today (Aug 26th) is actually the 51st Wedding Anniversary of my wife's parents. I still have a long way to get to that number, but I am determined to remain committed to my wife. Marriage is not always easy. There will be good and bad times, but the key is to lean on each other and to be open, have trust, respect, understanding and be willing to compromise. Nice post. All the best with the competition.

    If you have time, come join this month's Lovers' Cove Challenge #4 currently ongoing over at my blog. Invite your friends...everyone is welcome. Hope you can make it!

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    1. Thanks s lot Andy for dropping by ...
      i will try :)

      Delete
  5. Hi Jasmeet

    Well written and the fm tuning was an interesting comparison . I agree to all u said and ur post pushed me back in time to my house-house memories :) thanks !

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    1. Hi Jaish , hope u doing good :)
      Thanks a lot for your lovely comment ..house-house ;)

      Delete
  6. Chemistry of love..! What a cute idea...! All the best :)

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  7. I liked the way you started, with the Marriage of Dolls thing...remembered my good old days..:) Nice way of presenting your views, I completely agree with them. Whtether its Love Marriage or Arranged, what matters is whether you can make it work or not. All the best for the contest...:)

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  8. This is such a cute post and with those verses, it stands out.

    Good luck Jas...:)

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  9. Sweet n Deep POST!!
    I m still thinking...... ha ha!! :) :)

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